Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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