um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
