I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
