Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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