Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
