i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize