Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Let's get the cat blown out
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
