U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
