its not stalking. its research.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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