Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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