was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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