do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
