i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
