I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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