Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
