She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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