Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
