I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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