she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
