is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
