Those balls look pretty dangerous.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
