Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
