theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
