I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
