your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
