Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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