if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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