Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
