bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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