one word: firstdatebathroomanal
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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