Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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