She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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