I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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