Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
