so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
