From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
