I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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