That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize