Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
