I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
