so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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