I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
