Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
