Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
