It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize