I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
