ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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