Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
