Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
