Apparently you make a good broom.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
