As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let's get the cat blown out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
