Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
