Why are handjobs necessary in class?
that's an acceptable place to lick
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
