Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
