why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
