I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
