how can u be prego again
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
