I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am mentally ready for anal.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
