You really coming over, don't trick.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
