ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
