I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
