I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
