haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
