Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
