I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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